Sunday, November 15, 2020

To error is human, to forgive, is the only option you really have.

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It's not really a question if mistakes should be forgiven, it's more or less a statement that our mistakes need to be forgiven. We tend to be our own worst enemy.  We feel we should be doing something, and when things don't go according to plan, we tend to beat ourselves up, and then we forget that as humans we are going to stumble from time to time.  

What I want to do this morning is simply remind you that no matter what the outcome, no matter what you might be going through, there is a reason, and learning from each situation is the best medicine.  I've made my share of blunders throughout life.  Some have been tiny, some monumental, some just a nuisance.  No matter what mistakes have been made, we need to learn from them, and by all means we need to forgive ourselves even if the mistake was intentional, and yes sometimes we do things intentionally, as crazy as that may seem.

If we each had a dollar for every mistake we have made in life, we would be on easy street.  If we could fix a small percentage of the mistakes we have made, things might be a little different, but would they be the way they are supposed to be?  Remember that nothing happens out of chance.  The universe is perfect in its design, and all that we go through is in that perfection.  Certainly we might not like what we are going through, but we go through it for a reason.  So if we go through things because that is the design from the universe, why is it we have such a hard time forgiving ourselves when we mess up?  Why do we beat ourselves up, for things that ultimately need to happen, and they need to happen because there is something we were meant to learn from it?  I get how troublesome mistakes can be. I completely understand that most mistakes seem to take place at the most inopportune time, at least that's how we see it.  But if you can look at things through the perfection of the universe, then you just might begin to see a different landscape, and that landscape is what is about to bring you into your next phase.  If we never change, we stay put.  If we stay put, we never move forward.  If we never move forward, we will never know what greatness awaits us.  Misstep after misstep leads to perfection, if you can believe that.  

Why am I talking about this today?  I'm feeling as though many are feeling the pull, the change, the shift.  During these crazy times of change it's easy to get pulled from side to side, and in that tugging and pulling, we forget the reason we are going through what we are going through.  We all have growing pains.  This life you are currently in is no different.  We pass, we fail, we stumble, we win.  It's all a part of life, but we have to remember that no matter what we go though, no matter what we experience, there is a reason.  Stop trying to change those things that are changeless.  If you are walking down a street with a drink in your hand, and you drop the drink, is there anything you can do to get that drink back?  Nope, and wishing it weren't so is not going to change the fact that your drink is now being swallowed up by the drain.  Wishing that you didn't make a mistake is not going to change the fact that you made a mistake.  Now not forgiving yourself for the mistake, that will change things.  

Let me turn corners for just a second and say this:  find peace and rest.  No matter what you might be going through, or what you may just have gone through, relax and take a deep breath.  When you get wrapped around the wagon wheel, when you are going no where, when you stress over things you have no control over, you are going no where.  When you try to control everything, you will end up going no where.  I'm not saying to just sit back and do nothing, I'm saying allow things to unfold, and see what options are presented to you.  You will always have options, just be wise as to what option you choose.

OK, back to error, and back to forgiveness.  When I was in the Air Force I worked for the Strategic Air Command (SAC).  SAC had many mottos, but the one I loved the most, and it wasn't really a motto per se, at least not in tears of what we put on patches, or our uniforms, but the motto was "To error is human, to forgive is not SAC policy."  We seem to forget that we are human, and we are going to make mistakes.  Ever wonder why employees try to hide mistakes?  We have been so indoctrinated to believe that mistakes are beyond the pale and are not to be tolerated.  Well if you're ignorant enough to believe this never come work with me.  I've often said that it's only a mistake if you don't catch it.  If in your daily life you are doing something, and something goes haywire, but you catch it and fix it, is it still a mistake?  Not in my book it isn't and it shouldn't be in yours either.  If you don't allow for mistakes, then you force people to hide them, and in the long run, that is going to cost more, but I'm preaching to the choir.  I despise those who feel they are perfect, and will not accept anything less from those around them.  God it makes we want to vomit.  I've messed up so many times in my life.  If making a mistake were a death sentence, I would have been dead and buried a million times over.  Anyone arrogant enough to feel as though they are above it, as though they somehow have come down from the mountain with all the answers, as someone incapable of making a mistake, I don't want to be around them.  Lighten up Francis!!!!!  

Mistakes are going to happen, and they are going to happen at our own hand.  Stop beating yourself up, and realize that even the best among us has messed up.  I'm in the midst of getting a book ready for publication.  No matter how many people have proof read it, there is a good chance that when I get my first copy and read it, there will be a typo in it.  Things are going to happen.  The only way you are ever going to stop mistakes happening in your life is if you simply stop doing anything, a mistake in itself if you ask me.  Stop struggling with the fact that you are going to mess up.  Stop beating yourself up for things that have already happened.  Stop wondering when the next mistake is going to take place, and trying to figure out how you will handle it.  

I've watched as young kids are told that they need to be perfect.  I've seen parents berate a child for not coming in first place.  What do you think is going to happen when that child grows up?  Yes I'm sure that some people will try to justify this position by saying they are simply trying to prepare their children for what lies ahead for them.  If you are tying to prepare them, then why not tell them that there will be times when they make mistakes and that's just fine?  I would tell my daughter that she would make mistakes growing up.  I would explain that I don't expect her to be perfect, but what I did expect is that she be truthful, and try to do the best she could do.  Doing your best does not mean you will be the best.  No matter how hard I try, no matter how many times I attempt to do something, there are certain things that I am never going to be the best at.  I can't play basketball.  I can try, but I'm never going to be good at it.  I'm OK with that.  Forget about the things you can't control, and focus on those things that are within your reach.  You can't control perfection, but you can put forth your best efforts and be content with that.

When we fail to forgive our missteps, when we can't accept failure, we will never be able to forgive, and that lack of forgiveness will haunt you for the rest of your life.  Don't think for a moment that you are alone when it comes to making a mistake.  Don't worry that things may not have gone as planned.  What you need to concern yourself with is how you handle a mistake.  You will stumble, but that stumble isn't the end of the world.  Believe it or not, when you look at the rest of the world, when you look at history there are countless people who have come before you who will tell you that they have failed plenty of times.  The difference for many of these people is that they were able to let go of the mistake and move forward.  Can you say the same thing?  Can you forgive?  Can you let go?  If you can, then the outcome just might surprise you.  Give it shot, and remember, don't give up.


 

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