It's the pot calling the kettle black!

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Yes I know, it's do as I say not as I do.  I was always confused when confronted with this mentality.  Not because I was so opposed to doing what was being asked of me, but by the sheer stupidity of the person taking the stand of "just do as I say".  I wish I could say that I was free from this having taken place in my life, but alas I am human and a father, and I have  used this line a few times in the past.  It is the perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black, and I will say that I am guilty.  Most of the time I would use the phrase simply because I was not in the mood to have a discussion with my daughter about the merits of her doing what I was asking.  Other times it was simply because I was frustrated and didn't want to have to debate what I was needing to get done.  However my frustration was not with her, but rather will issues that I was dealing with, but I allowed it to dictate my actions.

What I want to focus on this morning is how we sometimes allow our own frustrations to dictate our actions, and more often then not those actions have a direct impact on others.   It would be wonderful if we were all so evolved that the little things in life no longer bothered us, thus releasing us from the need to transfer our frustrations onto others.  If you look at the modern day workplace you can see this type of thing each and every day.  The old adage that "Shit rolls downhill" comes to mind.  Your boss had come down on you because his came down on him, and now you come down on your workers.  It's not that they have done anything wrong, but if you have to be in misery, then you are going to have others there to keep you company. This goes on everyday, and it can lead to madness.  We transfer our frustrations in so many different ways.  If I am driving and something has set me off in the relationship department, I am just looking for that poor idiotic driver to unleash the torrent of frustration onto.  It's not that they did anything wrong, but it was a good excuse for me to blow off some steam on something that ultimately means nothing.  Is the world really going to come to an end simply because he decided to turn on his blinker after he has stopped at the intersection at a light and after I have pulled in behind him?  No it''s not that the driver didn't do what was right, it's me who is dealing with an entirely different issue.  This driver has no idea what frustrations I am operating under, but he/she is still going to get the brunt of my frustrations.  But funny thing, I'm the one calling him an idiot because of their failure to use proper techniques, when in actuality I am the one who needs a swift kick in the ass.

I will bet you dimes to donuts that the majority of time that we lash out at others is simply because we have not been able to deal with our own frustrations, and this is often the only way we have to handle the situation.  If on the other hand you were able to stop the frustration, then would you not also stop the lashing out at others?  Here in lies the key to today's lesson boys and girls:  stop taking things so personally, and stop being a d*#khead.  Our frustration level is the greatest indicator that we are not yet able to blow off the words spoken about us, the actions taken against us, or our own ability to simply let bygones by bygones and be in a place of perfect peace.  I wish I could tell you that I have gotten to this point in my life, I have not.  Now most of the time I am able to realize that I am taking things far to seriously and that is the time that I have to remind myself that I control my emotions and I should never let others take that control from me.

When I am faced with situations that may lead to my own frustration I simply quiet myself down, meditate for a few minutes, and let go of those feelings.  I have had to teach myself not to take myself so seriously, and when I can do that, the frustration and corresponding negative actions seem to stop immediately.   Now don't get me wrong, I am far from being perfect in these situations, but I have come a long way since the days of "do as I say not as I do."  We all have our good and bad days, but bad days are something that we can contend with and turn around if we will just realize that we are the ones who can control our emotions.  If you find yourself on the short end of the frustration stick, simply let it go.  If you find yourself in the "woe is me" mindset, simply let it go.  If you can't stand how you are feeling in the moment, simply let it go.  You control the actions and words that come from within, so with that in mind, focus on peace, joy, and happiness.  I know it is sometimes easier said then done, but you do control how you act, and you can control how you feel, which will also impact how you come across to others, and then you will be able to get out of the trap that so many fall into.

No one ever said life would be without confrontation, or conflict, or even frustration from time to time. However, that being said, how we deal with each of these issues will dictate what side you fall on.  If you desire more peace, joy, and happiness in your life, then make the decision not to follow what may have been your M.O. in the past.  I know I have been guilty of being the pot calling the kettle black.  Teaching others to overcome frustration and hurt, and yet falling prey to it myself from time to time.  I am focusing now on letting go of past hurt feelings, past frustrations, and looking ahead to a life that is full of happiness and contentment.  This is where you need to be, and if you only begin to head in this direction, you will see changes, and sooner or later the things of the past, will be just that, in the past.