Hair of the dog.

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We all want our pound of flesh when we are hurt, or frustrated, or when someone has done us wrong and you can't quite figure out what you did to deserve it.  There have been stories of those who have gone out and drank way, way too much, and the only way to overcome the hangover is to take the "hair of the dog".  I've never been one to believe in this, but then again, I don't make it a habit of going out and getting obliterated.  I won't say I haven't done it, just not a habit.

The reason I bring this up today is because I have seen in my day many examples of people seeking out retribution for hurts, or losses, or for whatever didn't go their way.  It's pretty common, but at the same time it's fairly destructive.  It's not so destructive for the person who perpetrated the hurt, loss or whatever, but destructive for the person retaliating.  Yes I know it doesn't seem fair. Someone has hurt you and it's only right that they should be punished for their crimes against you.  I get that, but I also know that two wrongs don't make a right, and in this case, two wrongs are still two wrongs.  It becomes a tit for tat, and before you know it, you have another edition of the Hatfield's and  McCoy's.

I've been told that it takes a bigger person to walk away from a confrontation verses standing there and hoping against hope that things don't get worse, so the outcome is less than desirable.  Wars have been started because a single person was unwilling or unable to step back and not retaliate.  Skirmishes has been around for ions because one group was unhappy with another group and instead of figuring a way to solve the issue, hell let's just fight it out.  Once again, going after your pound of flesh has done nothing more than anger that big old bear, and then you're going to get what's coming to you, even if what's coming to you was a direct result of you doing something you felt justified in doing.  Can you see a pattern beginning to take shape here?  You hit back, then they hit back, and before you know it, it's an all out old fashion malaise.  Listen, I know how hard it is to turn the other cheek.  The number of times I have wanted to destroy someone for a hurt is huge.  I could sit there and justify my actions all day long, but wrong is wrong no matter how you slice it, dice it, or simply try to justify it.

When someone has done something to me that I perceive as hurtful or wrong, then I am the one who has to decide how I'm going to handle it.  There are times when the hurt forced upon you was an innocent act by someone who never intended to hurt anyone let alone you.  But we get all mad and pissed off, we go after the party who did us wrong, and then we get the rest of the facts after we have done what we needed to do.  This scenario takes place so many times a day, and sooner or later we are going to have to figure out a better way of handling it.

I am going to say something now, and just in case you feel as though that I am a total pacifist, think again.  If someone jumps out and starts pounding on me I am going to defend myself.  If you are trying to physically hurt a member of my family or a loved one, then I can assure you that I will do whatever I can to kick the crap out of you.  What I am talking about are those times when the hurt is more of an emotional issue.  When the hurt is emotional, you are the only one who has the ability to decide how you will handle it.  You can latch on to the hurt and never let go, or you can just let it go and bless the one who dared to hurt you in the first place.  I know that forgiving someone for a hurt is not what we might call the manly thing to do, especially when your pride has been hurt, but it is the right thing to do.

When you lash out at someone who has done you wrong, then all you have done is sent out into the universe a message that you want more of the same.  You cannot overcome the lower energy of hatred, fear, and intimidation, with equally lower energy of frustration, hurt, and vengeance.  The only way to overcome these lower energies is to attack it with higher energy.  What are the higher energies that you have at your disposal?  Love, understanding, tolerance, love, patience, love, and of course love, love, and more love.  I'm not talking the same kind of love you have for your spouse or partner, but I am talking about a love that should be displayed to all living creatures.  This flies in the face of what we have always thought that one good hurt deserves another, but you are not going to do yourself any good by trying to get back at someone.  In the long run all you will be doing is setting yourself up for more hurt.

If you want to gain ground and get to the point where these things no longer bother you, then you will have to understand the nature of the Creative force that placed you here.  The Creator of the Universe does not operate in hate, hurt, intolerance, or any other things that is going to bring about pain and suffering.  If you cannot respect all living things and treat them the way that you want to be treated then you will forever be trying to overcome hurt with more hurt, and the cycle will continue on forever.  The hair of the dog is not the answer to your trials and tribulations.  Understanding, love, and patience toward others is what will change the dynamic of your life and the landscape your are in.

I know it can be challenging, life I mean.  But the person who is able to put away thoughts of revenge and retaliation, is the person who will overcome the hurts of this life.  Maybe it's time to rethink some of the things you always thought as truth, and try something new.  I can assure you that once you are able to walk in love and understanding, and extend that same love and understanding to the one who has hurt you, that things will change, and you will change as well.  Give it a shot and let me know how it works for you.