True Destiny; If Life is a Journey, Why go it alone?

Like a lot of other people I got caught up in the Oscar hype the other day. I was really rooting for "The King's Speech" and was quite happy with the results. What I was amazed with was the hype given to all the fashion and glitz. Now don't get me wrong, I like the finer things in life, but I think there are some people who take it to an unhealthy level and that is something that needs to be looked at. We all have needs and wants in this life. We need a home to live in, food to eat, and for the most part a vehicle to get us from point A to point B. We need clothes on our back and most of us need a job to help pay the bills. It could be college tuition, rent, mortgage, you name it, it generally takes money. Shy of getting money the old fashion way, inherit it, you need to have a job to earn money to spend. What I have noticed as of late is that so many people are fixated on obtaining so much stuff that it takes away from the knowing that life isn't measured on how much you have, but rather how you perceive what you have. What ever happened to being content where you are at? Now Let me stop here and say this: contentment is knowing that you are heading in the right direction, doing the right things, and knowing that no matter what happens you are good enough just being you. I think many people have forgotten about being content, and that does nothing more than keep them in a perpetual state of disenchantment. Why can't I have more? Why doesn't this happen or that happen? Why am I still lacking in this department or that department? The list can go on and on and on. Don't get me wrong, I think there is a time in all our lives where we need to ask questions about what we are doing, why we are doing it, and if we should be doing it. I also believe there are times in our life when we need to take a step back, look at our surroundings, and decided if this is where we need to be. Life is a process that will continue until we take our last breath and there is nothing that you or I can do to change that.

Contentment is knowing that no matter what you are faced with, no matter what you are currently going through, no matter what lies ahead of you, that you will be able to handle any situation and that through grace and dignity, you will come out spelling like a rose. We all look at other people and truth be told wish we had what they had. It might be a bigger home, nicer car, or that Caribbean vacation that you have always dreamt about. It's human nature to look at others and often try to put yourself in their shoes. Trouble is when you put yourself in their shoes you are no longer walking in your own. We all have things in our lives that we can be thankful for. We just sometimes forget about the simple and always want to make it complicated. My daughter loves me for me. It wouldn't matter if I had a zillion dollars, or was sleeping in a cardboard box. I know I will always have her love and she will always have mine. We have friends who we love and they love us. Maybe it's time to take a look at what we do have and not what we don't. Contentment is knowing that no matter what is thrown at you, you have the ability to handle any situation and in the end things will work out the way they are supposed to.

Now just in case you think I don't contend with issues, let me assure you that I have days when I am anything but content. But, I realize that my current situation is temporal at best, and come tomorrow morning things will be different. Different is some good ways, and unfortunately different in a bad way also. I guess I just have to look at each situation that comes across my path and take the actions required to get on with life. Am I content to take things one day at a time? For the most part yes, but I also look toward the future and have hope that things will be as I dream. I have had my share of set-backs and calamities in my life. I think we all deal with them from time to time. I have also known good times, and believe you me I would rather deal with the good times any day. Contentment is knowing that when the day is complete, you have done all you could do, and now at the end of the day it is time to rest and look toward tomorrow. I have said this before, but it bares repeating. I can't change what happened yesterday, and I really have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow, so I might as well live for today.

One final thought: when your thoughts of tomorrow are laced with fear, dread, and uncertainty, it is time to take a deep breath, relax a little, and understand that things happen for a reason. We can't always explain it, we often don't want to experience it, but in the end it is always a learning experience. We may get bruised and banged up from time to time, but our ability to get back up when knocked down is what separates us from those who refuse to get back up and just want to quit. I have wanted to quit so many times in the past, but deep deep inside of me I knew that the best was still in me and I was going to bring it out someway somehow. Your dreams that rest inside of you are the things that should motivate you to get up each morning and know that things will work out, things will settle down, and things will be as they should be. I gave a speech one time and in it I said "It is now time to ask yourself..." Well it's time to ask yourself the "What" question. What if this happens? What if I do this? What's Next? If you have the ability to ask the question then you also have the ability to answer them, and answer them you must. It's not time to bury your head in the sand. It's time to move forward realizing that the things we deal with each day are learning opportunities and as such we get the chance to grow some more. Contentment is knowing that you have all you need to become the person you were designed to be and that my friends is a great great thing. Think about that......

True Destiny; If Life is a Journey, Why go it alone?

At the end of the day can you say to yourself that "you have done the right thing"? I guess to many of us determining what that "right" thing is is the big question. To some they may never have the answer. To others, they are confident and can rest easy that they have done exactly what was expected of them on this day and they can lay down at night knowing that they have accomplished all they set their hands to today. I guess the people that I want to talk to today are the ones who are not sure what they did throughout the day and wondering if they have wasted another day just walking around in a state of nothingness. I think we all have those days when we loose focus and nothing seems to go as planned. I would be a liar if I stood here and told you that my life has played out exactly how I had envisioned it and that there has never been a situation that I could not handle. I would also be a liar if I told you that my life has been a bed of roses and that I never doubted myself not one iota. Those that know me will tell you that I have my doubts just like everyone else. I think the great equalizer is that I realize these things and take the steps required to put myself on the correct path, even if that path goes off in different tangents from time to time.

No one is immune from the struggles of every day life. No one can say to you that life has always been perfect and they haven't a care in the world. If you run into this person who argues that point, keep walking and look for someone else. We all need to be positive in life, but being positive does not mean being unwilling to accept the fact that things can get screwed up from time to time. Life is nothing more than a series of mistakes and learning from those mistakes. I for one make mistakes every day and often repeat them, not something that I am entirely proud of. But being totally honest with you I must admit my faults. A few days ago I was writing about thoughts and how our thoughts often dictate our actions. A negative thought will often result in negative actions and a positive thought will equally produce positive actions. This being the case, it bears asking, why give place to negative thoughts? Thoughts without action are just that, thoughts. The problem arises when we put action to negative thoughts and the results can be nothing but negative. You can argue this point with me until the cows come home and I will still say that positive begets positive and negative begets negative. This being the case once again I must ask, why be negative?

There are days when I feel as though I am just spinning my wheels, and then there are other days when I get so wrapped around the wagon wheel I haven't a clue how to get started. I guess that is a part of life and something that I am going to have to contend with. We all have times in our lives when things don't goes as planned and we tend to at that moment to throw up our hands and yell "stop the madness". It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. You think it should be possible and yet it isn't going to happen. I remember when I moved into my current residence. Now I had spend weeks packing boxes so when the day came to move everything was ready and all we had to do was load and unload the truck. I'm sure everyone has been asked to help friends move in the past and when you got to the old residence nothing and I mean nothing was ready to be moved. Nothing had been packed up and as your eyes rolled back into your head all you could think about was what a cluster this move was going to be. So to make a long story short I had spend the better part of the day loading the truck by myself and then a dear friend was there to help me with the heavy stuff. We got to the new place late in the afternoon and decided to leave the truck parked out in front of the house and leave the unpacking until the next morning. I was way ahead of schedule so I thought nothing of taking a break and resting up for the next day. Did I mention that the weather report for the next day was possible showers and don't you know I hate moving stuff in the rain. We got an early start and felt pretty good that the rain would hold on long enough to get the furniture into the house and we could worry about unloading boxed inside until later. As we were getting the downstairs furniture unloaded we knew that getting everything up stairs was going to be a challenge as this was an old house with very narrow hall ways and weird corners. As we began to unload the bedroom furniture it didn't take long to realize that very little of it was going to fit up the stairs and we were going to have to hoist it up to the second floor through the second floor windows. I felt like I was going to loose it as furniture began piling up in the living room. My good friend was encouraging me to take a deep breath and not to worry about it. We would get it in and just to relax. Easier said then done mind you. Well as you can imagine I was stressed, tired, and a bit worn at that moment, but I kept going and just as the rain started we got the last piece of furniture into the house through the upstairs window. This was truly the definition of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Ultimately we did succeed at our task for the day but it wasn't without it's share to turmoil and stress.

Life can sometimes treat us in a less than cordial way. How we decide to handle these situations is entirely up to us. I thank God I had friends with me on moving day who could and did keep me looking toward the mark. If I had my way I would have just left the furniture on the front lawn and said the hell with it. Thank goodness cooler heads prevailed on this one.

Let me leave you with one final thought for today; No one said life was going to be easy, and no one ever said life was going to be fair. But in that same vein, no one ever said we have to let situations control us either. When faced with tough decisions or situations we need to realize that there is always a way out and there will always be possibilities. Remember, at the end of the day did you do what was right? Think about it.....

True Destiny; If Life is a Journey, Why go it alone?

I guess it's time to set the record straight and let the world know what I am, what I want to be, and where I want to go. Most of you who have followed this blog, and there are a few who do, know what is in my heart. I have been following the world events that have been unfolding as of late. The uproar in Egypt and other Middle Eastern countries have caused quite of stir and the eyes of the world are focused on what will be coming next. Here in this country we are still trying to get past the most recent downturn of our economy and many have been affected in disastrous ways. The outcry for change and fiscal responsibility can not be ignored. We, just like the rest of the world have problems, and these problems need to be fixed. I was watching television the other night and saw a report on the housing segment and how foreclosures have skyrocketed over the last few years. People are loosing their homes at a record pace. Joblessness is still high and with that comes discouragement and dread. It would be difficult to find the silver lining in all of this, and it would be equally difficult to put a positive spin on what this country has been through over the past few years. I am not going to place the blame on any one person. If it takes a village to do what is right, it is only common sense to realize that it also took the very same village to put us in the position that we are in as a country. However, the main thrust of todays blog is to share my thoughts and motivation for the future. My future, your future, our future.

I want to change the world! I want everyone to have the opportunity to be the person they were born to be. Do I live in a bubble? I guess the answer to that question rest with one's ability to see past the hurt and fear, realizing that our best days are still ahead of us. I am not foolish, I know we have problems, and those problems aren't going to just be blown away with the winds of time. Actions need to be taken to put us in a position to overcome the trials of today. Each morning when we get out of bed we have to make a decision as to what person gets out of bed with us. Am I going to be the one who sees that the glass is have empty or half full? I am going to find ways to walk in my destiny or run for the hills and hide out until all the darkness becomes a thing of the past? It would be easy to turn my back on my dreams. Truth be told I have often wondered why I do what I do and am I willing to pay the price for my desires. I honestly don't know why I think the way I do or have the dreams that I have. It would be so easy just to turn my back on all of it and just be like the vast majority of this world who take each day as it comes and never do what is in my heart to do. It would be so easy just to forget about others and put my needs first. Oh yes it would be easy, but it wouldn't be me.

I want to change the world! Why? I guess the answer to that question is because that is who I am. I never planned on being this person. I never thought that I would be much of anything. I was always told that I wouldn't amount to anything and that I was nothing more than a big screw up. For many years I believed just that and was content to prove those people right. Then something happened. Not sure when it happened, but it did. I began to dream, and as I dreamed I began to believe that all things were possible. I began to see things clearer than I had ever seen them before. I also began to see that most people didn't care about my dreams. Many were turned off by most positive nature and many many could not understand why I wanted to spend my time helping others achieve their dreams. Hey it's OK, there are some nasty people out there in the world. They desire nothing more than to bring others down to the same level of misery they are currently walking in. It took me years to understand that people will do just about anything to ensure they are not alone in their misery. Let's face it misery loves company, and if you are willing to walk in other people's misery they are very glad to have you along for the ride.

I want to change the world! It is my hope that you will want to get on the "Change" band wagon too and that the dreams that reside in you will be so great, so burning, that you will no longer be able to ignore them and you will begin to take the steps required to walk out your dreams. I have been accused of putting my dreams aside from time to time to help others achieve theirs. I have also been told that I chose to put others first because I don't have what it takes to achieve my dreams. I think people who think this really don't know me and certainly haven't taken the time to get to know me. If they had then they would know that my dreams are to help others achieve their dreams. So for me I am walking in my dreams. Am I completely there yet? No not quite, but I am doing the best I can right now. Have I wanted to quit and throw in the towel? More times then you could ever imagine. I have had people call me crazy, insane, and even stupid. I have had others wonder if I were playing with a full deck, and others who just couldn't understand what the heck I was trying to do. It's all good, and it's all expected. When ever someone thinks outside of the box ridicule and mockery often follow. To all you negative thinkers just keep on doing what you are doing and I will continue to do what I am doing and in the end we will see who was right and who was wrong. If I were a betting man I would bet on me and not the other side.

One final thought: I may move at a snail's pace from time to time. Some may see it as laziness, others may think I am stuck in time because I'm not sure what direction to go in. Think what you want, but my time line is mine and yours is yours. I will get to my destiny, the question I have for you is will you? Think about it.....

I want to change the world!

True Destiny; If Life is a Journey, Why go it alone?

Could it be that spring is really just around the corner? It was a beautiful day yesterday, first day that I went outside without a coat on in I don't know how long. It brought to mind a poem I heard many many years ago. It went something like this, "Spring spring beautiful spring, all the birds are on the wing. Oh my how absurd, I thought the wings were on the bird". Don't ask me why I remember that, just one of those things that refuses to get out of the memory banks. I like spring because for many of us it represents new life, and a time of refreshing and growth. Having survived another New England winter we all look forward to the first spring flowers, new leaves on the trees, and most of all warmth. I for one hate the cold and look forward to hot hot summer days. Besides that, I can lower my heating cost. I began writing this blog yesterday, but with such a beautiful day I spent as much time outside running errands that I never got the opportunity to finish it up, so I thought I better get right on it this morning.

I want to talk about intestinal fortitude or what I like to call "sticktoitiveness".. Let's see what spell checker does with that one, lol. We all have dreams and aspirations. We also have a knack for getting in over our heads from time to time, or falling behind the curve when it comes to accomplishing things. Face it, we are all human, and because of that we are going to either mess things up or miss opportunities from time to time. I really don't care what your dreams and goals are, I really don't. What I care about is that you go after them and never let some jerk talk you out of them, or make you feel as though your dreams are not important. I recently had a run in with an old friend. He got some news about me, none of which was true, and he jumped to conclusions that just weren't there. It was heated and I had to make the very difficult decision to cut him out of my life for a period of time. How Long that period will be is any one's guess, but for my own health and happiness I didn't need this distraction. Now I have no ill will toward this person. I hope and pray that he is happy, and that he ends up where he wants to be, and with who he wants to be with. I am however saddened by the fact that he let his own imagination run wild and ruin what could have been a life long friendship. Oh well Que Sara Sara. That being said I want nothing more for him than for him to have every dream of his come to fulfillment and that he walks in total happiness.

I think there are times in each of our lives when we want to take our pound of flesh. I mean just rip the piss out of someone and give them their just recompense. I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to wanting to rip some one's eyes out. Truth be told I may think about it, but rarely would I act upon it. It just isn't my nature and for that I am thankful. I guess I say all of that to say this; don't worry about what others think about you. You just focus on what you need to do each day and let the other distractions just roll off your back. If I worried about all the negative stuff that has been said about me over the years I would already have one foot in the grave. There are plenty enough people out there who are so miserable in their own life that the only joy they seem to get is making others more miserable then them. Don't fall into their trap and for goodness sake no follow in their foot steps. Life is too short to waste one moment of time or energy worrying about what others think about you or say about you. I am reminded of a plaque I used to read in one of the offices I used to work in while stationed in England for the Air Force. Now the Air Force was known for handing out "Attaboys". Do a good job, attaboy; do a good deed, attaboy. But the plaque said that one "Oh Shit" can wipe out a thousand "Attaboys". Such is true with what people say and do and how we react to it. If you just move forward and not worry about it, they can say all they want. But just once get all bogged down in some one's comment about you and you are stuck in a stationary position for what seems like eternity. Just don't do it, and don't give these people a second thought. Sooner or later they will realize the stupidity of their actions and if mature enough just may ask for forgiveness for what they have done. Ok I will get off my soapbox now.

In closing, life is exciting and it's time to jump into life with both feet. It's time to move forward, even if it's at a snails pace, and take what is yours in life. Dreams , aspirations, goals, and wants; we all have them and we all want them. It's time to pick up the pace and run this race we call life. It is often a marathon, but in marathons, you pace yourself and such are the things of life. Pace yourself and don't worry whether you are in the front, middle, or back of the pack. The fact remains you are in the race and that is all that really matters. Think about it....

True Destiny; If Life is a Journey, Why go it alone?

It's a sunny, yet windy day here in Maine, but we are one day closer to spring, and that is something to be thankful for. I was at a workshop over the weekend and learned something very very important. It's not that I hadn't thought about it before, but for the first time I really came to an understanding of the material presented, and it came at a very opportune time in my life. There are many times in our life when we let circumstances dictate our actions and thoughts. Problem is, is that many times our thoughts are of a negative nature and those thoughts now create feelings which lead to actions and those actions bring results. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that negative actions will produce negative results. Take it one step further and you have to come to the conclusion that negative feelings and thoughts also lend themselves to negative results. We all go through trying times and those times will almost always take us to the point of thinking in a negative fashion. Now try as we might you can not expect to have a positive result when your actions are born from negative thoughts. Now to many this may seem like kindergarten math. We all know that two plus two equals four. It is fundamental, but how often have we put together that negative begets negative, and positive begets positive. I often am reminded of the childhood story of Winnie the Pooh. If things could go wrong for Pooh they did go wrong. More often than not it was a self fulfilling prophesy. Pooh's friend the donkey who would forever be walking around feeling down and in the dumps. Oh the weather was blustery, this was wrong and that was wrong and life was nothing more than misery day after day after day. Ever get the feeling that we walk around like this more often then we would like to admit.

I had a boss once who liked to say "it is time to take a check up from the neck up". Now this used to irritate me to no end. There was nothing wrong with my thought process. I was simply reacting to the other outside forces operating in the universe. I finally had to come to the conclusion that he was right and I let things get to me in a negative fashion thereby creating negative thoughts and once again thoughts lead to actions and actions to results. Don't you just hate it when someone is right and you want them to be wrong? Anyhow, this whole process was beginning to make me think about some of the thoughts that have been going through my mind as of late, having gone through a very trying time recently and now looking back on my actions. I am big enough a man to admit when I am wrong, and let me tell you I have been wrong so many ways as of late. Let me say this; having a negative thought is not wrong so to speak. We all have them from time to time. Often we have more negative thoughts then positive ones but that is human nature I guess. The problem arises when we allow those negatives to dictate feelings and actions. You can hold captive your thoughts. Just because you have them does not mean they have to control you. It's like getting up on a cold snowy winter day here in Maine, you know it is cold out, snow is butt high to a Giraffe, and you have to go out in this mess. The thoughts of cold, wet, balmy conditions drives you nuts, but then you come to the conclusion that I just have to bundle up and things will be fine. I have all the winter clothing I need, my car will be warm and heck there are bragging rights to having survived a New England Winter. We make them tough up here in the North and if we can make it here we can make it anywhere. But putting a different face on a situation can make all the difference in the world. Now going out in the cold and snow seems almost like an adventure that we will be able to pass on down to future generations.

Now I am sure that there are those who feel I have flown off the chicken coop with all this stuff about positive thoughts, feelings, and actions. But before you throw the baby out with the bath water why not give it a try. Let's face it, if all else fails try something new. If what you have been doing hasn't worked, why in the world do you continue to do it? Will bad things still happen in people's lives, of course they will. This is reality and in reality bad things do happen to good people. Hey we all know that good things happen to bad people too, we can't explain it, but it is a fact of life. But putting a positive spin on most things will have a huge difference in how you react to situations, and how you react will often dictate what type of action you take and the action you take will always bring around a result. What that result will be is entirely up to the nature of your action, either positive or negative.

So do me a favor. Think about the thoughts that plaque you on a daily basis. Think about the actions you take and the results of those actions. Ask yourself this one question: can it really hurt to change the way I look at things? If you put a positive spin on those things you encounter can it be any worse than it is right now? I think you will find that staying positive, as difficult as it may be at times, is one option that just might change the course of your life. Think about it.......

True Destiny; If Life is a Journey, Why go it alone?

Ever have one of those days that ended up being like one of those days? Did you ever wonder what one of those days was supposed to be like and once you found out what it was supposed to be like, it never really happened that way? Just curious, I'm actually having a good day but every now and again a random thought will float through my mind and I just have a need to ask the questions. It might also be that I have no idea what I want to write about today so either I am stalling for time, or just hoping that something will pop into my head magically and I can inspire, encourage, or otherwise thrill you with my whit and charm. Well maybe those last things won't happen but we can always dream can't we?

I was watching a special on the History Channel last night about Ronald Reagan. Now let me start out by saying I don't care what your political views are. We all think different things at different times, and truth be told there really isn't any right or wrong when it comes to politics. But I was watching about his life, where he came from, what he did, and how his life ended. He truly was an amazing man and did a lot for our country. But the thing that really hit home was the fact that here you have the perceived most powerful man in the entire world, and at the end of his life he had lost it all. Now I'm not talking about money or property, I'm not even sure what he was worth at the time of his death. What I am talking about is having gone from the height of power to a man who for all intents and purposes could not care for himself. It is understandable why he remained out of the spotlight his final years on this earth. I would much prefer to remember President Reagan as he was verses what he became. All this has lead me to wonder how will each of us be remembered when we depart this earth?

I think growing up we have visions of what we want to accomplish in life, and most of the time have no idea how we are going to get there. As young children we all wanted to be fireman, cowboys, doctors, nurses, the list can go on and on. Some wanted to head big corporations and make millions if not billions of dollars. Some people have reached their goals, while others are still working toward it, and regrettably many have given up on their dreams. I have often told friends that I do not want to be remembered for how many books I may have written, the size or scope of my companies, or the size of my bank accounts. I want to be remembered as being a true friend, who would do almost anything to put the needs of others ahead of my own. It's not that I am a martyr or trying for Sainthood. I just like people and want the best for everyone that I come in contact with. Now I know many will be thinking I sound like a broken record. Well guilty as charged! I often think of the most successful people in this world and wonder what their original dreams were all about. Had President Obama always wanted to be President? Did Bill Gates always dream about being the head of a software company? Did their earlier dreams lead them to the place they occupy right now? I believe that dreams are a stepping stone to getting us to the place we are supposed to be in life. I also believe that my dreams, and my ability to see them through to completion may also be the launching pad for others to achieve their dreams and desires. We all live in this world that is more interconnected than we would like to believe. It's kind of like making a cake. You mix all the ingredients, not really knowing if it is going to work out of not (that's what I call blind faith). You place the cake in the oven to cook and when you open the oven door you expect to see a completed cake. Most of the time we don't ask questions we just expect it to work out. Now if the instructions for making the cake are correct and you follow them chances are you are going to have a superior cake to eat. If on the other hand the directions are flawed or you fail to follow them correctly, let's just say you have no idea what things are going to look like when you open that oven door. This is so true about life in general. There are days when we fly by the seat of our pants, not knowing what direction to go in, and even if we have a road map not sure we are even reading it right.

I say all that to say this; dreams are inside all of us for a reason. We have dreams of becoming somebody or doing something. We have dreams of wild adventures the likes we only see on the silver screen. We have dreams that someday we will make a difference in the world and the world will forever be changed because of what we brought forth. We've all had our dreams trampled on in the past and there is no guarantee that they will not be trampled on in the future. But here is one guarantee you can take right to the bank, if you never go after your dreams you won't ever have to worry about achieving them. Do yourself and the rest of the people around you a favor and go after them. Had President Reagan not followed his dreams would the Berlin Wall ever have come down? Had Bill Gates not gone after his dream I would be writing this on my old IBM Selective III typewriter, and chances are not going out to the masses.

Today is the day to dust off your old dreams of the past and make them the dreams of today. Just because you may not have achieved them yet doesn't meant they still not valid and obtainable. There's no time like the present to take the first step. Slow and steady is the order of the day, and when you lay down to bed tonight you will know that what you started today will make for a brighter tomorrow. Think about it......

True Destiny; If Life is a Journey, Why go it alone?

I was doing some soul searching this morning, something I do when times get tough, or difficult situations or decisions are fast approaching. Now it's not the end of the world, I've already been dealing with that scenario for the last two years. Glad to say I have survived the whole ordeal, and hopefully am stronger and better for having gone through the trials and tribulations. I really believe there is a time in each of our lives where we need to take a step back, take a personal inventory of who we are, and look at what we want to be compared to where we are at this moment. People have always said that there is always room for improvement. Now this improvement can be in the form of family relationships, job or work performance, or a litany of other things. Where the improvement needs to come is totally up to your discretion and no one else's. Oh yea, we've all had bosses who are very good at telling us where we suck, and friends who will tell us that we need to be this or need to be that. You can talk to me about my shortcomings until the cows come home, but truth be told, until I can see it in myself no degree of pushing me in that direction is going to do any good. It's not that I am stubborn or pigheaded...well maybe I am to a degree. But the way a person delivers a message is far more important sometimes then the message itself. I was talking with a friend at the gym the other day. He was telling me about a lambasting he took from his boss that morning for something that he had no control over. Let me stop here for a moment and speak to all you bosses who have forgotten where you came from and more importantly have forgotten what you learned in Peoples Skills 101 in college. Get off your high horse and come with upbeat suggestions to help your workers attain a level of success that will make everyone look good. I am forever amazed at these idiots who feel that the only way to get their point across is to yell, scream, threaten, or otherwise act like a complete fool, because they are in a position of authority. To these people I have but one thing to say "Kiss my ass". If you are the type of person who has to rule through intimidation, fear, or belittling, then you need to go away, and go away fast. People are going to make mistakes. You may think you are perfect, but we all know the truth. If someone purposely does something wrong, well then you have the right to come down on them. If on the other hand, an innocent mistake is made, why turn it into World War III. Do you really think that most people get up in the morning with thoughts of how they can screw something up today? If you think this is the case you need serious help and you need it right now. The average person is going to do the best they can do with the ability or knowledge that they have. If you are asking your workers to do something they haven't been trained to do, you deserve what you get. I have been in jobs where supervisors seem to think that everyone will learn through osmosis. Leave them in a situation long enough they are bond to pick up on it and do what has to be done. And yet, when mistakes are made, these supervisors are the first to stomp on the workers chest demanding to know how come they messed up. Let me get my gun please. Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe you haven't trained them properly? Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, you haven't spelled out exactly what it is you expect of them? Did you ever think, well we know the answer to that question, no they didn't think. We see this all the time in the work place, and somehow we need to stop the madness. So getting back to my story, bet you though I forgot about it, didn't you? So my friend was berated for about 30 minutes for something he had no control over. I told him he ought to go back to his boss and invite him to come out in the field with him and show him how it should be done. I think most bosses have been away from the grudge and grime of the real workplace for so long that they wouldn't know what to do even if handed a map and directions. Heck if I am so bad at this why don't you show me how it's done? Better yet, let me observe the master at work, and I will duplicate it. Face it folks, we have all had bosses like this, and we have all felt and said the same things. Do yourself and your workers a favor and think back on how you felt when someone did this to you, and make sure you don't do it to them.

Don't know why I went off on that wild tangent but maybe someone needed to hear that this morning. I guess I am so sick and tired of those who walk around with this air of superiority. It's like the world owes them a debt of thanks simply because they are them. Well time for a reality check, you are no better than anyone else and the sooner you realize this the better all of us will be. Maybe I am a lousy manager or supervisor because I really think that my roll is to make my workers look good and give each of them the tools they need to be successful and become what ever it is that they want to become. If we spend as much time trying to help our co-workers obtain success as we did trying to place blame when things go wrong maybe things wouldn't gone wrong as much. Yea what a concept I know!! Aren't you tired of all the blame game stuff that goes on from day to day. If I have people who work for me and something goes wrong, maybe the first thing I should look at is why did it go wrong. Was I unable to provide the proper training, or maybe the workplace is not properly set up to achieve the success I want or need from the people working along side of me. It's always easier to point the finger at someone else instead of pointing it back and you and accepting responsibility for things that go wrong. Now don't get me wrong, there will always be people who will not want to learn how to do things right. If that is the case get rid of them and bring others on board who share your vision and want to be part of a successful team. The world is not perfect, nor are workers. We will all have good and bad days, but the key to any good manager is to realize what is taking place and be there to empower others to achieve what it is they desire to achieve. If you want to walk in a position of authority then you need to accept the responsibilities that come with that position. Your main objective has to be setting the tone for success in your area of responsibility and making sure each person under your purview has what they need to walk in their own success.

One final thought: Things will go wrong and mistakes will be made. How one handles these situations will show what type of person you really are. I need those that work with me to know that my number one priority is to see that they have the tools they need to be successful. Anything short of that then I have failed them and I have failed me. It is time we put people first. Failure to do so will guarantee our demise. Think about it, a happy worker is a productive worker, and that productive worker will be there when you need them most. Negative reinforcement has never worked and it will never work. Oh sure you may think it does, but you are only fooling yourself. Time to take a check up from the neck up and put yourself in the shoes of those who work along side of you. In the long run you will be creating a work environment that will be the envy of everyone and in doing so you will ensure that you have a place to work for as long as you want it. Now think about that......

True Destiny; If Life is a Journey, Why go it alone?

A new week is upon us and my hope is that new avenues will be opening up very soon. I am not one for dwelling on the past, after all what is done is done so why not look to the future. I think we need to examine history, for as a wise man said, if we fail to look at it we are doomed to repeat it. Let me say this I do not want to repeat my most recent history, I would rather take a red hot iron to the eye then repeat the last two years. Even though the last season has been a difficult one, I am coming out of it stronger and more determined than ever. OK, maybe the last statement was a faith statement, but often that is all we have to hang our hat on.

I have often thought about just throwing in the towel and moving forward allowing my dreams to be just that, dreams. How much easier life would be for me if I just went out got a normal job and worked for the paycheck and nothing else. Times being what they are, most people would never think twice about doing just that. But like I have said so many times in the past I am not your normal person and doing that is not my style, nor my intent. Many many people are struggling right now, both from a financial standpoint and an occupational one. Many are locked in jobs they hate, with no hope of change. Many have no idea where next months rent is going to come from, nor how are they going to face the mounting bills on the kitchen table. Others are conflicted with what they know they should be doing verses what is taking place at the moment. We have all heard about conflict resolution, the who, what, where, when, why, and hows. Most of us realize that change needs to take place so we are in the right place at the right time. Others know what is in their heart, but somehow can figure out a way to get it out of the heart and onto the current scene. If things were that easy everyone would be doing it and there would be zero problems in the world. As is expected that is not the case and we are all faced with difficult situations and circumstances in our lives. How I handle a situation is undoubtedly going to be different from how others handle it. It doesn't make my way the right or wrong way, it just makes it my way of doing things. You are going to have your own way of doing things, some may agree with you others may not. I think these differences we have is what makes the world go round, and quite frankly what keeps us alive and different from each other.

I was watching one of the Superbowl commercials yesterday. I can't even remember what the product was, but what stood out in my memory was the background. Every person in the commercial except one was dressed identically, working in identical cubicals, in what seemed like identical jobs. The first thing that came to mind was how boring this world would be if we all lived this way. I don't want to be like anyone else, and I dare say no-one would really want to be like me. Individuality is the spice of life. But our differences are what make us special, and that is what makes the world go round. I don't expect others to tackle their problems the same way I attempt to tackle mine. Heck there are no right or wrong ways to handle the situations we may face from day to day. I would like to think that I have a pretty good handle on the things in my life, but know this, I will seek out assistance from others when I need it, and I hope they will be truthful in their advice and actions toward me. If I wanted to have fake and misleading advice I can get that on TV or through the tabloids. When I seek out information of any kind I am always looking for truthful and sincere advice.

When I wrote my book I didn't write it thinking it would have answers to all of life's questions. It was developed to give people an opportunity to begin the process of determining their destiny. It isn't going to give you a step by step, this is what I need to do to get ahead, kind of information. It was written to provoke you to take the next step and begin a journey that is sure to take you to places you have never been or even dreamt of. Contrary to what others may think, there is no Yellow Brick road to Oz when it pertains to getting what you are supposed to get out of life. There may be paths that have already been walked down that will lead you to a certain place that you need to be, but this journey is new every day, and the crossroads and turns we come up to will have to be navigated differently everyday.

One final thought: When faced with a difficult decision or situation, maybe it's time to circle the wagons, and let others be there to help you. There is power in numbers, and many hands make light work. Seek out assistance from those who know and love you. They will not always tell you what you want to hear, but they will tell you what you need. Think about it......

True Destiny; If Life is a Journey, Why go it alone?

I have purposely taken a few days off from posting to rethink my purpose for writing, and at the same time, rekindle my passion. I had a long conversation with a family member a few days ago, and suffice it to say the results were anything but what I expected. Have you ever been waiting for the answer to a question that you never thought would come, and when it did, it only caused you to have a hundred other questions? Well the result of this conversation with the family member did just that. I was told in no uncertain terms that I had fallen flat on my butt, and I was fooling myself with what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. All I could hear from the conversation is that what I wanted to do was not tangible. That it lacked substance and that if I was unable to answer this family members questions as to the "How, What, and Why", how could I expect to be able to walk in my vision. To all my male friends, envision a knee to the groin area, this will tell you how I was feeling after the conversation. To say that the wind had been knocked out of my sail is a gross understatement. I'm not sure I could have felt any lower, and I am very sure that I wanted to roll up in a little ball and just disappear for a long long time.

Many times you have heard me say that you need to surround yourself with people who support you and want the best for you. To all the others, kick them to the curb and move on. That is easier said then done when it involves family. Now I know that this person meant well and was only saying what they felt deep inside. I guess for me, I was a little taken back as I was unable to get my point across. No matter what I said it was thrown back in my face. Why hasn't my book been published? Why haven't I taken the steps necessary to get the company going? Why? Why? Why? Truth be told I didn't have answers to the questions, and subsequently have begun to wonder what am I doing right now, why am I doing it (or not doing it), and more importantly what do I do from this moment forward? Confidence is fleeting, and there are times when even the most positive person begins to have doubts and wonder what do I do now. I have never been one to set aside goals and dreams because they haven't come at a specific time. However, being human I am also prone to the same down moments that others deal with on a daily basis. I have doubts, fears, and anxiety just like everyone else. I think the toughest part of having the doubts and anxiety is that you quite often don't know what to do next, and that lends itself to self-doubt, and self-doubt leads to a perceived emptiness and fear. I wish I didn't have these emotions, but once again being human I am not immune to them, just as countless others are not immune either. When I tell you that I know what you are feeling during times of distress and anxiety it's not because I haven't felt them before, and I am quite sure that I will feel them again.

One of the areas that I was picked on during this conversation was the topic of my book, and just what did I think it would bring to society as a whole. I tried to explain that so many people are walking around today hopeless and not knowing what tomorrow brings. Are they destined to work a job they hate, simply because the mortgage or rent has to be paid, tuition for school is due, or there is nothing else for them to do? Another topic was how was I going to present this information in a way that would grab their interest and at the same time give them something to hang their hat on. Now before I began this discussion I thought I had a plan and that plan was going to work. Wish I could say I felt the same way today. I kept being told that I had to have something of substance and not just "Fluff". I never thought that what I had to say was just "Fluff" and that the delivery of my message was just as important as the message itself. I guess I was way off the mark and need to rethink my motives and the delivery of my message. Or is it my message at all. Is everything I have thought up till this point just "Fluff" with no substance? I guess maybe it's time to take a step back and determine if what I believe really has any value to others, and if there is no value, then why go through the process of putting it out there.

I guess I never thought that what I had in my heart was just for me, and no one else would benefit from it. I don't have a PHD to hang my hat on. I really don't have anything but a feeling. A feeling that says that everyone has a destiny and everyone should be given the opportunity to discover that destiny and walk in it. Those that know me will tell you that I do not do this for me, but rather, I do because of the compassion and love I feel for others. I have tried to lay down my dreams and feelings before. Each time I lay it down it seems to come back to the forefront without me having to do anything to get it there. I think my life would be much simpler if I just displayed that "Don't give a Damn" attitude toward others and just look out for number one. But that is not who I am, and that is not what I want to become. So here I am now trying to determine what my next step will be and more importantly will there be a next step.

I guess the next few days will dictate the direction I head in. If past history has anything to say about it, my guess is that my passion will still be there, but for now maybe it's time to take a break and see what happens. I guess you will have to be the judge of it. Until we meet again....